cola

hey guys what's up!! im writing this post on my phone lol so i wanna document something before i get too lazy to type and finally lose all of my motivation to write this post.
ok so im currently in my hometown and before i came back here i was in singapore with fam and my niece lol and the thing that i want to remember is this girl nicely offered a hand to help us to take a picture lol so the story goes like this: we went to gardens by the bay and got inside the cloud forest and the room was like super chilly even tho ive went there before but we decided to get in there so my niece could have some fun in there lmao and then we took pictures and stuff. while we were at it i was like super struggling to make all the people to fit in the frame but i sucked and this girl approached me and said smth like would u like me to take picture for u !!!!!! im like wow !!!! nice people exist!!!!! thank god !!! and i said yes pls thank u !!!! and then she took the picture for us and she even asked whether the picture she took was okay and i said yes !!! much thanks !!! and she was like really pretty lmao if i was a guy id totally crush on her lmao she was a foreigner ok okok lol i super liked her hair !!! she has curly hair and shes so pretty??? kms my self esteem is gone lol :")

ok today's story!!!
my mom asked me to go to orenji (a boutique in my hometown) with her but i procrastinated and she got fed up with my shit and she decided to go on her own lmao she literally dumped me !! when i heard the door was opening i was like omg is she going alone ??? then i ninja-ed my way downstairs to chase after her but before i managed to catch her she was already ninja-ing her way to orenji lmao and i felt super bad like 1000% super bad and then to compensate her i bought her cola :-) so good :-)  ok end of the story pls have a nice day and pls be good to ur mom dont be a constant let down ok have an advanced merry christmas xx

escapism

who does not want to escape from reality, even for a little while? works have been piling up and im getting stressed by all the things that are happening around me. i wish i could pause the time and i could relax adequately. i wish i could stop dealing with school and the people who surround me.

what do i actually want? for a person who is living quite far from family, all i want is somebody to lean on. might sound cliche but it can't get any truer. things will get hard and by that time what you need is definetely comfort from your closest person. but what if your "closest person" doesn't understand you?

home is where your heart belongs

home is where you belong. when you have a bad day, you remember home, and suddenly it makes everything a little bit better. when you have a good day, you remember home, because you would like to share every little thing that has happened to your home. maybe they don't really have anything, but they have love and they provide the best shelter for your body, mind and soul.

life might seem easy without home for a little while. but you know you miss them when a simple meal would remind you of them. "how nice would it be if i am enjoying this with them." 

rant

lol hi i just had to come here and rant a little since no one is going to read this lol.

so ive just started my school in grade 11 and honestly i cant feel the high school hype anymore lol.

remember when people say high school is the best part of school? 

now my high school life is like hell lmao

i am literally being watched everyday. like i cant hang out with the guys without having this guy getting angry or mad. honestly idek why he is so narrow-minded and cant move on with the mistakes that ive committed and he doesnt even accept the way i am. im so stressed actually. i cant chat with the guys just because he doesnt chat with the girls. if i say what im thinking to him, confirm, he will get mad and he will say im the bad guy here. for real bro, fuck it. im tired like super tired and super stressed. my school works are always pilled up and then theres him, who doesnt let me do things the way i wanna do. does he not realise that he is tying me down? even in studying, he doesnt let me study in my own pace like fuck u bro. im trying to improve and what he will do is just raising his voice at me and say something mean to me like jesus fucking christ. all i wanna do is have fun....... i wanna have fun with my friends (the guys too). does he think that im neglecting him? its totally bc how he is like this that im taking any chances that i see. always complains at my clothing even tho they are perfectly fine!!!! asshole ugh. and he doesnt even want me to post photos bc he thinks if i do that, it means im an attention seeker.huh funny. and he said im disgusting bc i was wearing a fucking crop top lol rly m8?????????????????????????????? 1000000% done with him. im done. 

2016 and im still tired

hello! bet who's feeling tired. its been a year since i last posted but meh i dont really care so lets just write. no one's gonna read this anyway.

im so so so so tired with my life. including my school, home and also the society. im never good with words. maybe im pms-ing so im writing this post. i havent even finished my maths project. i cant even do a question. i wonder when i get to use the actual thing in real life oh my god. so stressed no joke. course exams are starting on monday and the first paper is actually chemistry just kill me. and my mom is here with me is just making me feel like i have no privacy left. i cant focus on studying ugh. she keeps on trying to correct me or something idek oh my god shes ocd or what. some things she did it for my own good, i know. but please just!!! please!!! give me some time alone.

still struggling with my maths project. actually its an assignment. due tomorrow. great! im contemplating whether i should just do it at school during the two periods of physics. we never study anyway during physics anyway.

the main thing abt this post is; when im feeling stressed, i actually want someone to comfort me? like telling me things are going to be okay. but he doesn't get it. i dont know. i also want attention from him as much as he wants from me. but i just cant tell him. im happy as long as hes happy. right. i need to remember that. he wont even see this post so ill just write what i want him to do.
i really want him to be more understanding. whenever i say that to him, it is always when we are quarelling. which makes things even worse. but if i say, he wont even remember. i bought a watch, he asked me what for, ahh his mood went down bc i bought a watch for myself. like i also want to spoil myself in a while. i like cute things. he doesnt get it. i know he spend his money wisely but T^T
i want him to be more patient not only to me but everyone. he gets work up easily smh that guy. i always doubt whether i can take it or not when hes teaching me smth abt a lesson bc he snaps easily. he will think that i dont want him to teach me bc of my slow response when im actually processing what hes saying and then his mood went downhill. sighs. ky ky.

i wanna sleep. goodnight.